Monday, January 10, 2011

Single parenting...while married

There is a large portion of the poulation that are single parents.  The defenition being that there is only one parent in the household who does most if not all of the child rearing.  Hold the phone though I am happily married (well most days) but yet this applies to me.  What how does that work? I think it must have been a military wife who coined the phrase "geographically single parenting".  I guess this is the category that I more closely fall into.  I am though not a military wife.

My husband of 12 1/2 years is a "deck driver".  Wonder what that is? He is the man driving the truck with 2 or three other trucks stacked right behind him.  He likens it to driving down a highway pulling  wagons behind him at 70 mph.  Any one who has ever dealt with a a wagon behind them knows that they do not follow well, they seem to have a mind of their own...and that is at 30 mph.  So he has a stressful job...and dangerous.  wonder how they get them stacked...they pick they up with a tow truck of a "hoist" while the driver sticks his head underneath.  This job has taken many men from their families. 

Back to single parenting...this job takes my husband from our family for anywhere from 20-25 days per year.  Let me show you an example.  He left on December 28, 2010, he was able to sleep at home on Jan 1, 2011 (literally he got home at 2 am and left by 6:30am) no one saw him.  He then has been gone until around noon yesterday that would be 12 days.  He left this morning to go to St. Loius to unload in the snow storm.  So hopefully he will make it back for a few hours with us today because tomorrow morning he leaves again.  When he gets back it will be a total of 18 days gone not counting today...

18 days with 6 kids is a lonnnnnnnggggggg time.  Especially when you homeschool.  To complicate things I have no help.  My in laws who live less than 500 feet from us are not into being grandparents and my parents are well not available (thats another blog post).  I have no friends...I think people assume I have no time or are scared of my kids.  So I truly do this show alone. 

Single parents are not always single.  I love my life but it gets hard sometimes and it takes its toll on me.  Am I thankful for my 6 healthy beautiful kids more than everything.  Am I thankful for a husband who sacrafices to provide for his family? It is one of the greatest gifts in my life.  Life though is not always easy and today is one of those days.  Call it winter, stress, holiday let down whatever but I have been in a funk and I want out.


  1. That's a tough situation and I bow to your strength & amazing attitude. You might be in a funk. That's understandable. But that you do this week in/week out, that you homeschool, that you're focused on your blessings, that you are obviously proud of your'll be okay.

    I relate with the no friends. I have some AMAZING online friends but irl...I can't think of one truly close relationship. Alot of that is MY fault though. You're not alone thanks to this wonderful thing called the internet. ;-)

  2. Wow, that IS a lot of time away. My husband used to travel a lot, and it really was challenging. Eventually we developed a Papa-home routine and a Papa-away routine. But I have half the number of kids you do!